Christmas 2007 – Part III: Final Fallout

After being granted my continuance on December 14th, the crazy email barrage again started with renewed vigor.

December 16th, 2007, 10:17PM:

LM,

I am upset about this situation with Christmas. I wasn’t trying to ruin your Christmas last year, I even offered for you to have the boys the day before Christmas. Regardless of saying that I didn’t think it was fair for me to have to drive them out to [Exchange Point] on Christmas eve I wound up getting very sick. I’ve never kept them from you….you did get them on the 27th last year and I even offered to bring them out on the 26th. I didn’t fight this 50/50 arrangement because I know they need their Dad. This is so wrong, not just for me but for them. The summer was the same thing….I’ve never done anything like that to you, what you pulled after I came and spent the weekend down there was terrible. You are totally breaking my heart. I am so distraught, I can’t bear the thought of not seeing them for three weeks straight and not a day during the Christmas season. I do believe the order said that the “Christmas holiday” was your this year but not the whole week….she never uttered those words. She didn’t say “Christmas Break” or “Christmas Week”, she said the holiday, which is Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. I’ve been praying everyday that you somehow move past the hatred you have for me and do the right thing. Why are you doing this? I AM their mother remember……I know you wish you could change that but you can’t and they love me very much. Please please do the right thing. I am just sick about this. You have been so cruel and I don’t understand it at all.

~PEW

Our commentary:
This is followed by a series of short, nonsensical emails telling me that she has proof of how “wrong” I am about the holiday custody arrangement and that she has proof. Dumbass doesn’t (or won’t) realize that my position is lock-solid supported by all of the documentation. However, since that doesn’t meet with her warped reality – it might as well not exist.

She sends me copies of the Contempt Order from March and the copy of the Custody Order from November. Both obviously support my position. The order from November refers to the terms of my petition which are entered as “the order.” It is quite clear. When she goes home on the 20th of December, she digs out her copy of the petition and makes the astounding discovery that she is completely wrong! LET THE CRAZY-MAKING BEGIN! (We respond to none of what follows.)

12/20/07, 7:55PM:

Well LM, I got home, I reviewed the petition/proposal that you filed in September. It appears, as usual that I overlooked the fine details…I’m sure you’ve looked at the transcript from the Nov 2nd hearing by now and realize that she asked me if I agreed with everything else but the two items I brought up and I said “yes” Of course when I originally reviewed everything, I was focused the driving issue and overlooked Christmas that you put in there that you would have the kids the entire week of Christmas. You always “beat me” on the technicalities but that won’t happen in the future, I assure you. I’m sure your “Legal Eagle” DW, has been telling you that you have me beat……but that’s because she’s not truly “A Mother”…..if she was she would never think this was a “great” idea. I’m going to withdraw my petition because I’m the “better” person…..and EVERYONE knows that. My family knows, your family knows, our old friends know, my friends know, my company knows, the school knows…..but most importantly YOU know that I’m a WAY nicer person than your girlfriend and you’re upset that I divorce YOU. I can’t compete with someone who is as manipulative and intelligent as you (and your girlfriend) who is apparently the gonads behind this whole thing because I happen to know that you are not this MEAN……and that’s exactly what this is…manipulation…..deceit….payback….whatever it is…it’s wrong and it sucks for me that I’m not as SMART as you and your girlfriend. Worst of ALL..it sucks for S9 and S6….they love being here..they love the fun we have together, just like you used to LOVE spending time with me….because when I’m with them I AM the person you fell in love with……because they LOVE me back. Let me give you some advice though….this Judge…is starting to see your true colors…read between the lines. Read what she is saying to you on November 2nd and in that contempt hearing…..she’s not just sick of me….she’s kinda sick of you too. Do what you feel you must with Christmas…..I will live through this just like ALL of the other atrocities that you’ve inflicted on me over the past 4 years….will it EVER stop?

~PEW

Our commentary: She is withdrawing this petition because she knows that if she sets foot in that court in front of Judge Contempt again – with this complete and utter bullshit – the consequences could be quite severe. When things turn in my favor – it’s because I’m “manipulative and evil and DW is my gonad-set and running the whole show.” Nothing could be further from the truth. Reality is – PEW gives me pretty much everything I need on a silver platter to use against her while avoiding, at all costs, anything that could put me at odds with the court. Oh, make no mistake, DW is one smart cookie and has assisted every step of the way – but DW doesn’t give me the evidence. DW doesn’t file all of the petitions which, during testimony, I turn around on her. She’s her own worst enemy and for that – I am thankful.

DW is the same person she tried desperately to get all “buddy-buddy” with, attempting to convince her that I was the spawn of satan and that she would soon see my “true colors.” When that doesn’t work – demonize!

Followed at 8:39PM by:

LM,

against my better judgement…I’m also going to say that I think that DW calls the shots..I have a really really really hard time believing that you are THIS mean. We spent some really good good times…..especially during the holidays. You and I had some good times at this time of year and I won’t ever forget that….remember the time I made you and MCB sing the SOUND of MUSIC?? that was right before I found out we were pregnant with S9. And we made love many times by the light of the Christmas tree…..particularly one time I remember when you asked me to marry you…by tie fire up the mountains……….LM…..remember the good not the bad…..our boys want to see their mommy during Christmas….

~PEW

Our commentary: Oh holy shit. Now, you will see some e-mails later on, but PEW has been trying to get LM back for 4 years now, only he could never see it. This psycho would actually ask him to move back in with him several times per year, and he couldn’t see it, thinking it was just about money, HA. As he read this, he looked over his shoulder and said, “sign into my e-mail account, and ah, yea, you are right.” LMFAO. I died when I read this, I mean seriously, I could not stop laughing for 2 fucking hours. This whore has tried to convince everyone she meets that LM is a sociopath that abused her for ten years, and yet here she is reminding him of how they made love? She is one fucked-up cookie.

Followed at 9:11PM by:

LM – in summary…………I know who calls the shots..and it’s NOT YOU. sad…~PEW

Followed at 9:23PM by:

LM – I got it…..worry more about squaring youself with not letting the mother of your children see them because it bothers your girlfriend.

~PEW

Followed at 9:41PM by:

LM, also, by the by the boys tell me that DW’s not so nice when “daddy’s” not around…what’s that all about??? a little resentment that’s what I’m thinking?? how about…….how insecure can you get after four fricken years….???? you need tp start thinking of ourboys particularly S9 in light of the trouble he’s been having since youu came to town????0 how long do you think your NON communication thing is going to fly with the teachers….this every other week has sucked….because your girlfriend doesn’t want it to work??? Get a set of your own and be a father……Regards. PEW

P.S. I know you wont respond because DW won’t allow it….because she’s a warped individual…I can’t help who you fall in love with.

Our commentary: Holy shit! Look at how the truly Psycho Ex-Wife operates. Demeaning, insulting behavior. A gross inability to accept responsibility for her actions. An innate ability to rewrite history, to create a new reality out of fiction that she actually believes! See back when LM only had weekend visits the boys had problems because he wasn’t around, oh, but now they have problems because he IS around. We have lots of these examples where she gets to argue both sides of an issue, it’s a win-win for her, where someone else always gets the blame

My guess is that she’s probably gone back to hitting the bottle pretty hard. Have another drink, you pig. Of course, these emails are not so different from others sent from work or other places where she would be hard-pressed to get away with being drunk. Sadly, rather than face and accept the reality of all that she has done and the consequences for her actions, the coping mechanism is to lash out, insult, demean – just like a bully to prop themselves up to make their sad, pathetic life more meaningful and reaffirm just how important they think they are.

Reality is dangerous to the BPD. Reality would mean she would have to lay there, in the dark, alone, and say to herself – “what the fuck is wrong with me?”

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Christmas 2007 – Part II: I’m in Contempt of the Future

PEW decides to sue me again. Here is the contents of her petition which would appear, at first glance, to have been written by an 8-year old. It wasn’t – she wrote it.

– On November 2, 2007 the Petitioner and Respondent entered into a joint custody arrangement as follows. The children are to spend alternate weeks with each parent, one week with mother, one week with father. The holidays are to be shared equally alternating years with the exception of Christmas of 2007, which is to be spent with father due to mother’s failure to exchange the children on Christmas Eve in [Exchange Point] in 2006. (I am not sure of the exact wording because I don’t have a copy)

– It has come to the Petitioner’s attention via email that the Respondent has decided to keep the children from December 16th, 2007 through January 6, 2007. The Respondent states that “In accordance with the court order, this year, I get the entire week with the boys, December 23rd through December 30th” A copy of this email is attached.

– The children have already been told that they “will not see Mommy for three weeks”.

It is the opinion of the Petitioner that it was not the Court’s intention to take away a whole week’s custody time from the Mother. The Petitioner does not believe that it was the Court’s intention for the children “not” to see their mother for a period of three weeks. The Petitioner does not believe that it is fair that she not have any custody time with her children on her regularly scheduled custody week of Dec. 23. through Dec. 30th. The Petitioner requests that the Honorable Court sets the parties right on the Court’s intentions for the holidays. The Petitioner feels that it is very important for the children to spend some time with their mother and maternal family during the week of Christmas. The Petitioner is requesting an Emergency Hearing so that she does not miss all of the holidays with the children.

This is the 12th day of December 2007.
—————————————-
Can you almost see her jumping up and down, fists clenched, tears running down her face as she cries to “mommy” IT’S NOT FAIR!!!

I can’t stand her use of the word “mommy” and the way she infantilizes our children. In future posts, we’ll detail why this happens – but it would disgust any reasonable human being that her (and her family) still talk in “babytalk” to the children, refers to herself as “mommy” and not mom or mother or something a little more advanced in development than a 2-year old, and use of that sickeningly sweet high-pitched squeal when speaking excitedly to the children.

At the same time, you’ll notice her ongoing contempt for JC and the court. The ethereal PEW, master of everyone and everything, has now called the court before her to explain the court’s intention.

What sucks about Family Court (besides everything) is that you can get a hearing for anything, even the tripe above. No one reviews petitions for merit. Like a meat processing plant, every petition is granted a hearing unless some provision in prior orders requires judicial review. This was no exception – a hearing is set by some clerk for December 26th, 2007 – the day after Christmas.

I immediately call Domestic Relations and the nightmare is confirmed. Worse than that, it’s schedule in front of a new judge – a double-whammy, as it gives PEW a new person to whom to spin her fabricated tale of woe. If I can’t do something to eliminate or continue this hearing, this will mean leaving my family on Christmas Day to stay overnight at the Work Residence in PEW’s state to attend a hearing the next morning. If that happens, she will have succeeded in ruining another in a long line of celebratory events dating back more than a decade.

I manage to track down the phone and fax numbers to the New Judge’s chambers and fire off the following request for a continuance of the hearing:

December 13th, 2007
Dear Honorable New Judge,

It is with great embarrassment I must write and make a request of you for either a denial of hearing or a continuance of hearing.

Sparing you as much detail as is reasonable, I have been suffering a serious abuse of the legal system by my ex-spouse, PEW, and this hearing is no different from many past. We are currently scheduled for a hearing on December 26th, 2007.

In March of 2007, PEW was found in contempt of court by Honorable Judge Contempt for custodial interference during my scheduled Christmas and Winter Break of 2006 and a failure to comply with other aspects of a custody order entered in October of 2006. One of the sanctions was that I was awarded Christmas week of 2007, specifically December 23rd, 2007 through December 30th, 2007. Further, at a custody modification hearing held on October 17th, 2007, an agreement and order was entered by the Honorable Judge Contempt which included a reinforcement of that earlier order.

Over the course of the last 2 years or so, I’ve had to endure no fewer than 5 false contempt petitions filed by PEW – all of which were summarily dismissed as being completely invalid. This latest petition on the part of PEW, after having numerous times responded affirmatively to Honorable Judge Contempt’s asking her if she understood and accepted the order, is another case of legal abuse and a clear attempt on the part of PEW to undermine my time with the children after withholding them from me this time last year. I have travel plans with my children this holiday season that will have to be sacrificed in order to attend this unjustified and malicious petition by PEW. I am scheduled to be out of town.

It is with great respect that I ask you to please deny her motion for a hearing or at least grant a continuance so that our holiday plans will not be ruined again. The order after the contempt hearing in March was clear. Honorable Judge Contempt’s order of October 17th, 2007 is clear. With regard to the Christmas Holiday this year, I am to have my children between December 23rd, 2007 through December 30th, 2007. Beyond that, our normal week-on and week-off schedule is to remain in force.

Sincerely,
LM
———–
The next day, I get two calls from the Judge’s chambers. Not only has my request for a continuance been granted, but the new judge had the hearing placed with Judge Contempt on January 24th, 2008.

Vindicated again.

A little part of me believes that the new judge went to Judge Contempt and asked what the situation was. Despite how busy Family Court can be, Judge Contempt is fed up with how well she knows us. I’d like to believe that when she saw that petition – she hit the roof and made sure that the case was both continued and placed before her.

I’m certainly not telling PEW. In fact, I was hoping that she got the notification so late that she would show up at court on the 26th only to find out there was no hearing. I probably wasn’t so lucky as I haven’t had a rage email regarding this.

With our next post – we’ll wrap everything up with a conclusion detailing the fallout over this. It’s as bizarre, if not more so, than what you’ve read so far.

Know this – we’ve had an amazing Christmas Holiday here. All of the kids together, no court hearing, and a wonderful time had by all! We hope yours was as great as ours has been.

More to come… Part III

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Christmas 2007 – Part I: Trying to Destroy the Holidays Again

If you read November 2, 2007 – Thanksgiving Comes Early, you’ll see the details of the current order that resulted from that hearing. For this post, it’s the provision that reaffirms the Judge’s order from the Contempt Hearing in March 2007 regarding the Christmas holiday this year.

When dealing with someone who has or may have Borderline Personality Disorder, your protection is in the details. If you’re dealing with a BPD person, never forget that lesson. The more specificity you can get into an order, the less exploitation of vague provisions in the order can be done in an attempt to drive you frigging insane!

In this case, I was smart enough to specify the dates for which my Christmas 2007 is to be – December 23rd, 2007 through December 30th, 2007. That is the whole of Christmas Holiday and winter break, which was what I was entitled to in 2006.

In true PEW fashion, her sick, twisted mind simply blanks out those parts of history that do not meet with her approval. It doesn’t matter on whose authority they originated, be it a doctor, a lawyer, or… A JUDGE. Time and time again she almost pathologically sets out to cause chaos. She has absolutely nothing better to do with her life.

On 12/11/2007 comes the first sign of trouble via email from PEW:

LM,

I’m trying to figure out the holidays…..I’m assuming you’ll drop them off on the 23rd…pick up again on christmas eve, bring back on Christmas day? Can you let me know.

PEW

Our commentary: Are you fucking kidding me? It’s only been 39 frigging days and it’s as if nothing happened before her email that would have prevented her from sending it. This is the kind of bizarre, indescribable bullshit we’ve had to deal with for the last 3-years, and what I had dealt with for 9-years prior to that. It’s the incessant, compulsive desire for my attention. My one and only response:

PEW,

In accordance with the court order, this year, I get the entire week with the boys, December 23rd through December 30th.

~LM

This is subsequently followed by a barrage of escalating emails from PEW to which I do not respond:

LM,

You cannot have them three weeks in a row. That is bullshit, we weren’t operating on this arrangement then. You had the whole summer and then moved up here too. If that’s your position, I’ll be filing a petition…..and I’ll be filing a modification of the child support too since I let you get away with $200/month. You’re a bastard.

PEW

Followed by:

LM,

when were you planning on returning them? I want them on Sunday the 23rd.

PEW

Followed by:

LM,

It would make sense for you to get the days you missed from the 24th to the 27th, but not the whole week??? That is not the intention of the make up time form last year. I am sick to my stomach that you are going to do this to them. I am filing tomorrow in the hopes that they will get us in before Christmas.

PEW

Followed by:

LM,

I don’t have a copy of the new court order. What does it say with regard to the holiday? I am so upset right now. You don’t get the entire winter break….you get the Christmas holiday. What kind of person would do something like this? You’ll have them for a full week and then I should get them back on the 27th at the very least because that is when you got them last year. It’s hopeless to even talk to you….you are an evil person………I can’t believe this.

PEW

Followed by:

LM,

I’m filing this as an emergency. Do you have a fax # the court can send notice of hearing to?

PEW
—————-
Our commentary: Yes, she filed an emergency contempt petition. Here is just how much of an imbicile she is:

What am I in contempt of? I’m following what is the court’s order to the letter. Even if I was in contempt of something, if it hasn’t happened yet, how would I be in contempt of the order? If I was withholding some holiday custodial time from her, how in the hell did I manage to do it on December 12th, before the holidays have happened? How about the unmitigated gall of asking me to volunteer my private fax number so that I can expedite being served again for her convenience. Can you say unlimited sense of entitlement?

A hearing is scheduled, believe it or not, for December 26th. I’m pissed.

More to come… Part II

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November 2nd, 2007 – Thanksgiving Comes Early

Prior to November 2, 2007 – I was the “non-custodial parent” and had my children about 1/3 of the year. Every other weekend during the school year + extra time (holidays, spring and winter breaks, teacher in-service days, etc.).

November 2nd, 2007 was the latest in a long line of custody hearings during the course of the last 3-years and saw gain even more ground. After being unemployed for the better part of 9-months, I managed to secure a job, but not just any job (as future posts will detail) – a job back in my original state, which gave me the opportunity to get 50/50 custody of my children.

She had actually filed what I believe was her 6th-contempt petition against me in addition to a petition to modify custody to award her sole physical and legal custody. When I got my new job and secured housing in the state where the children reside, I exercised a clause that Judge Contempt entered into the custody order of October 13th, 2006, which read something like “…should father obtain employment and establish a residence in the state where the children primarily reside, he shall be granted 50/50 custody after a short hearing.”

I secured employment on September 4th, 2007. I secured a nice cottage house on October 6th, 2007 – only one week before my deadline. You cannot begin to imagine the series of events which had to happen to enable this dream to come true – and that they did was equally unimaginable. November 2nd, 2007 was that short hearing. I filed my counter-modification for custody on September 7th, 2007.

It was a fairly uneventful hearing. With exception of 2 provisions in my petition (items 4 and 8 – she didn’t like being ordered to meet halfway), PEW actually agreed to all of the rest of my terms. The entirety of my petition was as follows:

The Petitioner respectfully requests that the Honorable Court modify the existing Order of Court as follows:

1 – Legal Custody: Father and Mother shall have joint legal custody.

2 – Physical Custody: Father and Mother shall have joint physical custody. The schedule shall be alternating weeks, with exchanges taking place on Sundays, commencing with Father’s first available custodial week commencing after entry of this order or move-in date for the reserved [Work State] residence, whichever is later.

3 – Vacations: Vacation plans must be made by either party during their custodial time and may not interfere with the other parent’s custodial time. If vacation is to be taken, each party must provide the other a minimum of 15-days notice as to their vacations dates, locations & addresses,, and contact phone numbers.

4 – Custody Exchanges: Custody exchanges will take place at a mutually agreed upon location to be provided to the court in writing by both parties within 48-hours of this order. Exchange time shall be between 3:00PM and 4:00PM. Should father elect to spend custodial time with the children at their [Home State] home, the custody exchange shall take place at the [Exchange Point]. on Sundays, between 4:00PM and 5:00PM, unless Father is returning to his [Work State] residence, in which case, the exchange shall take place at the agreed-upon exchange point.

5 – Holidays, Special Occasions: Physical Custody of the children shall be shared by the parties according to the following schedule which takes priority over regularly scheduled periods of custody:

Thanksgiving to include the entire weekend of Thanksgiving. Father shall have custody in odd years and Mother shall have custody in even years.

Christmas to include December 24th through December 26th, Father shall have custody during even years and Mother shall have custody in odd years with the following exception: Pursuant to the contempt order entered by Honorable JC in March of 2007, Father was awarded the holiday of Christmas 2007 for the full week from December 23rd, 2007 through December 30th, 2007. Beginning in 2008, the aforementioned holiday schedule will resume.

New Year’s Holiday to include December 31st, through January 1st. Father shall have custody in odd years and Mother shall have custody in even years.

Easter Holiday shall be in accordance with the school calendar. Father shall have custody in odd years and Mother shall have custody in even years.

6 – Phone Communication with the Children: Each party shall have reasonable telephone access to the children at reasonable hours when they are in the custody of the other parent.

7 – Childcare: During the school year, the children are to be enrolled in aftercare associated with the school they attend preferably. If not, another licensed daycare facility is permitted as agreed upon in writing by both parties. During the summer period, the children are to be enrolled in a licensed daycare facility, summer camp, or certified nanny as agreed upon in writing by both parties.

Right of First Refusal – In the event that either parent cannot make themselves available to care for the children during their custody period for reasons which may include, but are not limited to; work travel, family illness, school holiday without work holiday, family emergency – the other parent will have first right of refusal to care for the children prior to any other arrangements being made. If the other parent is unable to care for the children under such circumstances, the custodial parent may make other suitable arrangements. Both the offer and acceptance/refusal must be made in writing.

8 – Child Custody Changes (Relocation): Should father lose employment and housing in the area where the mother resides with Mother at any time, all provisions set forth in the prior custody order dated October 13th, 2006 shall return to full effect if such termination affects his ability to remain a resident of [Work State] and financial circumstances necessitate a return to the [Home State] residence.

9 – Extracurricular Activities: Each party may sign up the children for sports teams or other extracurricular activities that take place during that parent’s custody time so long as that activity doesn’t require the children’s or child’s participation during the other parent’s custody time absent the other parent’s written agreement.

10 – Decision-Making: With regard to any emergency decisions that must be made, the parent with whom the children are in custody at the time shall be permitted to make the decision necessitated by the emergency without consulting the other party in advance. However, the parent making such a decision shall notify the other party of the emergency and consult with him/her as soon as possible. Day-to-day decisions of a routine nature will be the responsibility of the parent having physical custody at the time.

11 – Changes: All provisions of this agreement may be altered with prior WRITTEN agreement between both parties. If a deviation is agreed to by both parties, it may not be revoked or changed without subsequent written agreement by both parties. Written agreements may be accomplished via email, fax, or through other documented media.

The orders of January 11, 2005, August 28th, 2006, and October 13th, 2006 shall remain in full force and effect except as modified herein.

The Petitioner does pray and request that the Honorable Court will grant the Modification as stated herein on an Emergent Status. The reason for the request for emergent status is to allow the Petitioner to expedite the final plans for living arrangements suitable for the family and to permit the father the custody time to which he is entitled and fervently desires as quickly as possible.

Respectfully Submitted,
LM
————————
On item 4, the judge made me responsible for the full trip should I take them to my home in my home state (about 4-hours away) since I now have a residence and will usually be coming back to PEW’s home state.

The judge revised item 8 to exclude everything and call for a hearing because “many other circumstances may have changed as well and I would want to review the issues that may exist at that time.”

Neither wholly unreasonable. I got my 50/50 and that was all that truly mattered at that point. When asked on no fewer than 3 occasions by JC if she read and understood all provisions of the petition that were about to be entered as her order with the aforementioned changes, PEW answered, “yes.”

She’ll conveniently forget all of these details when she files her next contempt petition in an effort to destroy another holiday – Christmas 2007 – less than 45-days later… I’m in Contempt of the Future

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