Regarding scheduling, aside from what had already transpired in June of 2004 regarding custody and filings, etc. – was this little gem of manipulative lying on PEW’s part.
Given that things hadn’t been finalized regarding custody, we were working on a sort-of interim schedule depending upon the work schedule. It was July of 2004 and my birthday was approaching and I had asked to have the children, mid-week, on my birthday overnight. Originally, she had agreed to that as she was hosting a party at her home for a few friends (more or less a social gathering) and so this fit her plans very well. Win-win. Right? Wrong! One of the many agreements unagreed to along the way which prompted “the greatest custody order/agreement clause” many years too late, but in place now nonetheless.
Later, I get this:
LM
Regarding Weds night. I was having a get together at my place…..but I’ll probably just put it off because I miss the boys too much as it is. It’s not worth it to me to try to have a social life if it means I won’t have them here.
The next two saturdays also, I’d like to have them, since you have had them these past two saturdays.
~PEW
I know I probably should have argued harder for the time, but didn’t because I knew it wouldn’t lead to a change. A week later I would discover that what actually happened that night is she still had the party. All she did was drop off the children to her parents for an overnight stay rather than let me have them for an overnight stay on my birthday, that’s how much of a spiteful scumbag she actually is. I called her on it, having quoted the “I miss my children so much” email:
PEW,
That’s a really great story, but in the future, particularly on my birthday, rather than put the kids in the middle of a lie (unbeknownst to them), spare me the sob story about “missing the kids.” It’s not about the kids for you… it’s about ensuring that you get enough “equal nights” to maximize your payout.
Additionally, if you’re going to keep the kids overnight on a Saturday Night, don’t keep them if you’re going to wake them up at a ridiculous hour and deliver them here at 7AM, unfed, and in their pajamas just so that you can claim you had them “another overnight.”
Neither situation was fair to the kids, nor was it in their “best interests” as you often like to say. It’s only your financial best interests you have in mind – next time, try thinking of the kids. Thanks. I hope you had fun at your party.
~LM
She didn’t like it too much.
LM,
Listen, I put the kids to bed on Weds night and when they woke up I was there waiting for them. WTF is your problem. You are the one who only wants them to avoid having to pay any money. As for Sat. night, we had a great time, we played games, we colored, we watched a movie. Don’t give me this shit because I let them sleep instead of waking them up. Are you not capable of pouring a bowl of cereal. What are you drinking or something?? Email [my attorney] from know on with this bullshit.
PS I have a feeling that you were drunk last weekend in front of the kids. Were you crying poor LM in front of them. I hope you are watching yourself.
~PEW
Obviously, this triggered her “false accusation” mechanism. I still wonder how her twisted mind can just up-and-out with such stuff. Interesting how she justifies what she did by claiming (probably falsely) that she was there to put them to bed and there when they woke up in the morning. She probably did what she usually does – dump them on her parents – go get drunk while having a party – sleep in and then go get them the following day when she decided to get herself out of bed. That was more important than them spending dad’s birthday with him.
Her penchant for alienating the kids and interfering with custody time will eventually get worse before it gets better.
PEW,
Oh, I’m not mad or harassing. I simply asked that if you are going to take the kids in an effort to ensure the maximum monthly stipend… be sure to drop them off fed and dressed, even if it is at an extra-early hour.
I also asked that not use them to cover lies.
I don’t think that’s too much to ask. Thanks.
~LM
Looking back, I have to applaud myself here for ignoring her accusations and just sticking to the matter at hand. A rare example. It wouldn’t last… lol…
LM,
I did not use the kids to cover lies. I asked you if we could switch off nights so that if I wasn’t able to have them Weds I could have them another night…..you said NO. I tried to cancel my previous engagement but was not able. What lies are you talking about? It was MY night. I put them to bed and I was there when they woke up…….there’s no lies. If you had asked me, I would have told you, but since you didn’t tell me that you brought your mom up to babysit overnight I figured, My nights are my nights and your nights are your nights. This will all be worked out in court. Spare me. You just don’t want to pay ANYTHING. Everyone knows that, you’re embarrassing yourself.
Also, in the future I will go into work late rather than imposition the kids. I didn’t think it was a big deal for you to give them breakfast. Sorry.
Now I have a favor to ask of you. Do not tell S1 that he is going to have to have his appendix out if he doesn’t eat vegetables. Also do not call him fat or let anyone else criticize him about his weight. Thanks so much.
Also, you should be seeing someone about your bitterness and anger. Do you need a name?
~PEW
How laughable is it that she “tried to cancel but couldn’t” – a social gathering at her own home? And “if I had asked her, she would have told me.” Why would I have asked her? She said she wanted the children because she missed them, exactly what reason would I have had to ask her, Gee, PEW, on my birthday, are you just going to drop them off at your parents and have your party anyway? What a jackass.
She seemlessly strays off-topic in order to escalate things. It’s a habit I had gotten so used to and would engage that it would never give me a second thought. Just defend defend defend explain explain explain. Suckered again.
PEW,
The evidence of payments to you and for things that you were responsible prove otherwise, and the van you’re driving… As do offers to you which have been rejected while you don’t lift a finger to get the matter settled. But hey, if you need to tell yourself and others that to maintain your support system, by all means… you do that.
However, several things you have done since this matter has started would say differently despite your pontifications otherwise.
Try to operate in reality. Thanks.
Oh, and I’m neither bitter nor angry. I just expect you to do right by the kids. I wouldn’t dream of dropping them off to you in their pajamas and not fed. It’s not unreasonable for me to request that you show the same respect.
Thanks, again.
~LM
…and ’round & ’round we go!!!
The email conversation headed off in another direction so I’ll post that another day.
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