It’s mid-February 2004. She’s filed for divorce. I’ve moved out of the master bedroom and into one of the extra bedrooms. We’ve had some discussions about how to handle childcare, the house, work, etc. It will be an ongoing process. Once the decision was made by her, there would be no turning back. She filed. It was official. I wasn’t moving out, she was. I told her not to rush and to take her time to make sure that wherever it was she was going, it was appropriate for two growing boys – and safe. It would take her until May to move out, but she did find a good place to live.
This discussion is pretty reasonable and I include it because I want you to pay particularly attention to her attitude regarding our dog. There have probably already been some posts which demonstrate her repeatedly throwing in my face that ultimately, I chose to have our dog put-down because I couldn’t place him with anyone. It was an extremely tough decision, but we’ll get to that later.
If you have a recollection of other posts about the dog, you’ll notice her attitude here, not surprisingly, contradicts her oft-repeated righteous indignation over my decision to have him put to sleep over her alleged strenuous objections and desire to keep him.
PEW: so what do you suggest for [the dog]? The Vet maybe?
LM: I guess. Dunno what they would do.
PEW: Put him to sleep i suppose
LM: You don’t want me GAS HIM DO YOU?!?!
PEW: That’s what I was thinking
LM: Can’t we try the SPCA or find out from friends if anyone would want him? At least at the SPCA he has a shot!
PEW: he’s 10 years old though
LM: oh, there must be somebody. Maybe an ad in the paper? Free to good home?
PEW: well we’ll have to see what comes up as far as my living arrangements. if I get a place to live I guess I’ll take him because I can’t bear to gas him even though I WANT to.
This isn’t the last discussion about our dog. It is the first and her position is abundantly clear, despite her last comment. She doesn’t want the dog. She suggests having him put to sleep. It’s one of many options and the one that sucks the most.
LM: lol. I thought it stunk to high heaven this morning.
PEW: it did….I smelled it too
LM: But I SWEAR… I looked all over the place…
PEW: but I didn’t see the pile
LM: EXCEPT… under the friggin’ desk. I turned over his bed. Under the chairs. Behind them. Everywhere except the desk. I swear! I even smelled him
PEW: well I kicked it with my foot when I sat down
LM: And found it odd that HE didn’t stink.
PEW: that’s how I found it
LM: And he peed, too?
PEW: yes, by the back door
LM: I hope he ain’t gettin’ sick or anything. And that it was just a “going out” thing. But I let him out before I came up last night. Maybe he ate something he shouldn’t have, I dunno.
PEW: it was a good solid dump though
LM: hm
PEW: so I don’t think he’s sick
LM: odd. Maybe I just asked him in too quickly.
PEW: maybe he’s pissed at us
The dog occasionally did this. He was well-trained, but had his moments. He had a big cyst or tumor on his back. It resembled a half-softball sticking out on top of him, cheated towards the right side over his leg. It never seemed to bother him, it was just unsightly. Over time, the vet never really said anything about it. He could biopsy it, but it would cost some serious coin, which we weren’t willing to shell out at the time. Ultimately, we wouldn’t ever do it.
LM: I spoke to [the CEO] today. He said that I could work flex time for three days
PEW: ok…..really? wow. that’s great
LM: I explained to him as briefly as possible our predicament. That child care is FAR too expensive for 2-1/2 hours of coverage for 3 days. That I didn’t know how long that I needed it. That we’re trying to find reliable babysit coverage. But that it would benefit the kids if we could accommodate something. He said fine. I could work at home. Come in at 7. I would just need to periodically show some home progress. And be available via phone. And to tell nobody else who doesn’t need to know.
PEW: ok
LM: I thanked him profusely.
PEW: if you WANTED to, i’m sure we could ask PP for one day on the 3 day week
LM: We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it.
PEW: so I’ll call my boss then and i’ll find out how much it would be to have the kids covered under me. it’s gotta be less than what you’re paying. my dad knows the county sherriff…. he said he may be able to get me a job there so I’m not sure how long i’ll be at [my current job] till I can get something better paying
LM: No problem. The accommodation is there. So let’s take advantage of it.
PEW: ok
LM: He asked me if I wanted to reschedule the training. I told him no, because the initiative is too important to the company.
PEW: that was nice
LM: We’ll make adjustments as we can.
PEW: i’m sure we can figure something out for those two weeks
The place where I was employed was very flexible and understood completely about my situation. (We actually met there, PEW and I.) They didn’t ask a lot of questions, but bent over backwards to accommodate me throughout the whole ordeal… before I would bail out on them about a year later, unfortunately for some reasons, necessity in others, need for change in another.
The year ahead would be very rough and rife with many mistakes on my part.
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